Aussies ‘review-bomb’ Big Ben after loss

The Matildas’ have changed Women’s sport in Australia forever and have won the hearts of the nation.

The English Lionesses cut the Matildas’ fairytale run cruelly short, claiming a 3-1 victory in Sydney to book their spot in the final against Spain.

Australians reacted to the loss with mixed emotions: some fumed at England’s physicality in the game while others took aim at the Matildas’ performance; but most have shared their pride in and adoration for the women in the green and gold.

Then there are some Aussies who have taken a … different approach to expressing their grief: by review-bombing London’s Big Ben.

The unsuspecting clock tower has become the target of Australia’s frustrations in the hours since the semi-final loss, as a wave of one-star reviews and petty comments from disappointed fans flood its Google Reviews.

Because how else are you supposed to exact revenge on the people that brought down your national icon than to target their national icon?

“If I wanted to see a clock, I’d just look at me wrist,” one reviewer wrote.

“It’s a bit slow,” another said.

“Would be better if it was digital,” a third wrote.

Some of the newer reviews declared the clock would be “better if it was digital”, and another wrote it was “not loud enough”

“What is it a clock for ants?” they wrote.

Other negative reviews were more obviously tied to the soccer game, referencing the teams or their tactics – one wrote the clock “could use a bit of a clean up, like the English soccer team”.

“Was soooo dirty, just like the English played against the Matildas,” another review read.

“Pretty sure this ‘Ben’ paid the refs to keep those yellow cards away,” someone else suggested.

“Pretty tall building … almost as high as that kick to Sam Kerr’s face.”

Others gave a nod to another England-Australia rivalry, referencing the most controversial moment of the recent men’s cricket Ashes test series.

“Not in the ‘Spirit of Clocks’,” they wrote.

Taking aim at Big Ben’s size was another common criticism, one suggesting that England “take some inspiration from Australia on how to properly build things”, pointing to our penchant for ‘Big’ landmarks.

“Does not show the correct time. Would prefer to visit the Big Merino,” someone wrote.

“Got nothing on the Big Matildas,” another wrote.

“Not that big, I reckon Katrina Gorry is taller,” someone else quipped; a good dig at the clock, given ‘Mini’ Gorry is the Matildas’ shortest player at 154cm tall.

In response to the one-star reviews, a number of reviewers have tried to counter the criticism with their own five-star reviews.

“Smells much better than the stench of defeat in Australia,” one pro-England reviewer wrote.

“Have been to Australia, not good. Big Ben however, best day of my life.”

A number of people joked that Big Ben was a “great place” to visit to visit to “listen to Aussies crying”.

While the reviews are all in good, but petty, fun the Matildas and Lionesses still have jobs to do.

The Matildas have to dust themselves off and prepare to fight for a consolation prize in the third place playoff against Sweden on Saturday night.

Meanwhile, England will take on Spain’s La Furia Roja on Sunday at 8pm AEST – the first World Cup final for both countries’ teams.